The Choice to be Happy

   We tell our kids over and over again about making good choices. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.We're not that far removed from those juvenile years of travelling blindly, doing what we're told - or not. The difference is that most of us have learned some hard lessons in the 'consequences' department. Most of us have accumulated enough of those that we 'get it'.
   The one choice that makes the most sense to me is also the hardest. That's the choice to be happy. And no matter what - I've learned it doesn't happen over night.
   When something terrible happens, for a while, we're thrown into confusion, shame, grief, horror - whatever - but eventually, we realize there are different ways to handle these things. You take a hard look at where you are and in my case, I began to think, "How can I get as far away as possible from this thing, in the shortest time possible... Losing Drew had put me in a place that was just too damn hard to be in. It wasn't me and it certainly wasn't him.So I made a choice to look for ways out. Easier said than done, my   friend.
   This 'teacher' named grief has a mind of its own and it has a course to follow and it won't be shoved or pushed or hurried in any way. I imagine that all heartbreaks are similar. The heart break of death, divorce, infidelity, failure, job loss - any number of things. 
  But when the time's right - and it differs for all of us - you can begin to look at your options. You hate this situation. It feels like hell - it is hell. What now.
   When I reached this junction, I made the descison to choose my perception of what was happening, and when I had analysed that to death and gotten nowhere, I decided that it was going to take a supreme effort of body mind and spirit to begin to heal. So, I ate a lot of chocolate for feel-good endorphins and drank red wine (for courage) and then had to excercise until I was blue in the face to combat the side-effects of that diet - and I began to keep a journal. My soul began to write.
   I had deliberately found a way to feel. Not okay - but better. One friend of mine following the death of his wife, took off sailing around the world. Another, an ex-football player - took up ball room dancing. There are ways to combat this crap and if you make the choice to find them - you can.
   It is ultimately the choice to be happy. You won't get there over night, but with that choice, you'll find the right road.
    More next time.
Courage, Mon Ami!