Signs

Here are two photos of white doves sent by Drew, when I asked for signs. An ice dove in winter and a summerdove in August.

  Early in the winter that I lost Drew, I sat beside my fireplace, holding his picture and talking to him. I talked and talked until it was dark outside and sometimes I cried. I lit candles and as I talked to him somemore I began to feel lighter. The firlight seemed warmer suddenly and my shoulders weren't bunched up around my ears anymore. My hands unclenched, gently caressesing his picture that I held to my chest. It was almost as though he was beside me on the couch. I could feel his warmth and his image in my mind was as clear as mountain rain. Thoughts of him as a child, as a young man flooded my being. Not just my mind, but every cell of my body. I could hear his laughter as we talked about his first big dance, his fishing days on the dock with a piece of string and a raggy piece of bacon for bait. Drew tramping the woods in summer with his blonde lab puppy looking for squirrels. I felt his love filling the room.

And very late, when I got up to go to bed I smiled something close to a smile and said. "I could feel you with me... were you here, Drew?" and then, "Will you give me a sign? How about - a dove. A white dove." This has more significance than you know dear reader, as you will see when "Show Me Heaven, Drew" is published.

Feeling more peaceful than I had in days, I gently placed his picture on my dresser and stood back looking at it. And then I looked again... and then I grabbed it. There, across his chest painted on the tee shirt he wore, were not one but three white doves. 

And he kept sending them. the dove in the picture below is an ice remnant perched on the Spruce beside my deck in late winter.

The second dove came in summer when I revisited Colorado for the first time since his passing. It was an emotional time and I cried when I saw the bird. I was told by the people who lived here that no one had ever seen it before - and that when I left after a few days, they never saw it again. 

There's something about birds... I think they are all messengers of Spirit.

I'm not sure if this is a dove or a pigeon - it looks like a dove, but isn't a pigeon traditionally a "messenger"? Drew was here.
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   And so, onto the Zebras!

   My friend Cindy raced up to Smith Mountain Lake to see me, spent a whirlwind evening mostly reminiscing about Drew and trying to figure out this Spirit talk that her daughter Katharine and I were immersed in. Katharine gets this stuff too. (She had a dream the night before Drew died - one of those "Heads Up" dreams which was especially goose bumpy because Katharine had never met him and none of us had any idea at that point that anything was wrong.)
   "I just don't get it! Katharine never even knew Drew but she sees him in a dream! Why don't I see him? Drew, " Cindy raised her voice, "Are you forgetting your old friend? I want to see you!"
   "You'll have to ask him for a sign - ask him to tell you when he's around." Said Katharine.
   "Okay I will. What kind of a sign?"
   "I ask for birds. " I said. "And flowers." 
   Cindy snorted. "And Katharine wants to see peacocks! Well I'm not asking for flowers and peacocks - anyone can see those. I want Zebras."

   Three day later she phoned me from Raleigh. "You ought to know," she said in measured tones, "There are NO zebras to be found - anywhere! I'm going blind looking for these things! NO Zebras!"

Well, you don't have to go blind looking for signs - they just show up. And the next morning the phone rang again. It was Cindy. Blustering, tripping over her words in her excitement.

   "I want you to know my friend, that there are Zebras everywhere!" She took a breath. "I was driving to the gym this morning and there, right in front of me, is a giant van with Zebras painted all over its sides! AND THEN - I turned on my TV monitor at the gym, ZEBRAS! Everywhere! It was one of those Africa shows. And not just plain zebras - they were fornicating! Zebras making more zebras! The TV screen had a giant red X across it. Zebra porn."
   I was laughing so hard I was crying. Holding my sides gulping and keeping my legs tightly crossed. 
   "And get this... " She went on. "I'm sitting in my car at this moment - as we speak - and there's a woman walking accross the parking lot wearing the most hideous pair of Zebra leggings you've ever seen!"

   Tally Ho!

Back on Monday with pictures! This blogging stuff is pretty cool. Enjoy the rest of the weekend.