The Cost of Loving

   There have been times over the last two years when I've thought that the cost of loving is just too high. You love someone with all your heart and soul, there is nothing you wouldn't do for that person. No transgression is too great to forgive. Your put your own needs aside to be there when you are needed. No problems that come up are too big for you to fix. 
  And you do all this with love, and for love and the light that comes into your life when that someone you love walks in.
   Then everything changes. It's late at night when the earth shifts. The ground you were standing on five minuters before you got that call from a distant hospital has disappeared from under your feet. There's been an accident - a sudden illness - something unthinkable has happened...
   You race through the darkness, and when you arrive, bright, harsh light, slick white hallways assault your senses. Hushed voices are saying saying things like, "injury", unconsciouss" "non-responsive." What are the talking about? Words floating through the antiseptic air ... clinical coldness.
   You look at the figure lying on the slightly raised hospital bed. How many times have you heard, "He looked as though he was asleep." At first. But he's not asleep. He's not there. You're looking at the shell of someone who lived inside it a few hours ago. He's not there. Try as you might, you can't feel him there.
   And then slowly you become aware that he's gone.
   Coma.
   This is a problem you can't fix. This is a problem too great for you to fix. 
   More words... Brain waves - his brain waves tip the lowest end of their medical scale. Irrecoverable... 
   No one has ever done a brain transplant - have they? They can take yours if it will bring him back...     
   And the full meaning of loving someone unconditionally is clear. You would give your life for his - if you could.  There would be no question.
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   Much, much later, sometimes months or years later, it will occur to you that indeed to love this way is worth all the risk, the pain and the ultimate loss. It surrounded Drew all his life. What greater gift to him - and to me for being able to love so totally.  

   In the end - love is all there is.