The Owls and the Pussy Cat

My poor cat's nerves are shot. Here's why: About a year ago a young female cardinal took a shine to its reflection in my dining room windows, and has been trying to peck its way in to make friends with the stranger for twelve solid months!! While, I love these guys - especially the boy cardinals with their scarlet plumage - this is going over the top and driving me up the wall. Why won't it stop? I'm beginning to think its suffering from shaken bird syndrome - it's brain is scrambled from all the head banging. It's particularly annoying because every so often (ten times a day) it'll throw in a 'rat-a-tat-tat that makes me think there's someone at the door. Miss Kitty viewed this drama being played out from one of the window sills, fascinated by all the thumping, and dreaming of little cardinal drumsticks. For a while she was mesmerized but about six months into this she got bored and decided that the moths that fly around the outside lamps at night are more fun, and switched her viewing site. I've tried everything I can think of to stop this nonsense including a big wooden bird strategically placed, a decorative scare crow perched either inside the window or, more boldly outside in a nearby shrub. The bird is fine with that ... I put large pictures of full face friends and family in the window. It found another window. Then just recently a handsome, bright red male showed up and I thought, "This'll do the trick!" She'll soon be sitting on eggs. Not a chance - the guy stayed about a day, watched the loony tunes and made a break for it. Then a bird shrink showed up. "Make some cut-out owls and put them in the window!" He advised. Good idea! So, I got to work with construction paper, scissors and markers and after several hours and a full waste paper basket I had two passable creatures that look like hybrid owl/cat/bats. Miss Kitty blinked and then stared at me with disdain as I taped them up on the windows. And went back to washing her face. The bird bought it!! Yes she did! She stayed away for an entire day. And back she came at 6:00 a.m. the next morning. What we need, I decided was sound effects. So at about mid-morning I cracked the door open, cupped my hands around my mouth and made owl noises. Twooot twooooo! Repeat. Twoot Twooo. The head banging stopped. This was working! Buoyed by success, I hooted again - and then again just to let it know this was one bad owl. No bird. There was a scuffle behind me and I turned away from the door to see my cat flattened on her tummy on the floor, ears pressed back against her skull and her eyes bulging. When I opened my mouth to say something, she slit her eyes, hissed, spun on her heels and fled down the hall to my bedroom. What on earth ... She's been there for two days. The bird's gone. But the cat's freaked out and thinks I'm part of the hybrid thing, and what's more, I can speak owl. That must have been a really good owl sound! Who knew ... I wonder what I said. Call if you need an owl impersonator. (But give the cat an advance dose of Benedryl.) Miss Kitty finally emerged when I opened a can of tuna for lunch. Woot Woot!