A Shaft of Light

A Shaft of Light

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Beach Cruising

It's hot in the sun, the beach is bouncing with children, colored balls and seagulls scurring along the shore.  Red umbrellas flutter in the north easterly breeze that keeps things cool and broad-brimmed sun hats flapping.
I feel life renewing itself all around me.
We've all stepped into another world closing the door on city streets and honking cabs, market reports and grouchy co-workers. There are no lawns to be mowed here, no trash to haul and appointments can wait until next week. Worries and sadness can be buried in the sand or run off down the beach or tossed out to sea for an hour or two.
All I have to do today is lean back in the sunshine, listen to the ocean and breathe. This may be a small piece of Heaven that's drifted to earth. I'm glad it landed where I am.
Out of half closed eyes I see children chasing a gull they'll never catch, and team of young men, their hair glossy with sea water, young bodies muscled and tanned, moving in step down the beach, approaching a team of bikinied lovlies, walking in step towards them. They toss their heads in feigned nonchalance - like the wild ponies that run on the beaches further north of here.
They meet and slowly pass each other.The girls giggle, the young men stare at the sand, clear their throats, trying not to grin. Except for one who separates from the team, walks backwards and yells, "Ohhh baby!"
Courage deserts in the sound of their delighted laughter and the boys canter off down the beach.
Cruising the beach. Life renewing itself. Warm, happy and young.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Bird Watcher

     Miss Kitty is under house arrest. I'm sorry to have to resort to this but the mourning doves have fledglings that are leaving the nest for the first time and the cat can't wait! I have caught her  - twice - crouched below the nest smacking her lips - and chattering her teeth.
     She's an inside/outside cat, with claws and all her instincts in tact. She is afraid of nothing including the three large and rather stupid but aimiable brown labs that live next door.Three dogs. Miss Kitty would never put up with that in this house and in that, she and I are in agreement. So we spend more time than we like seeing them off. They bark at me when I race out like an outer mongolian waving and yelling and smacking the deck rails - and insolently lift their legs on my roses, but when the cat appears they run like the devil's unchained. It's because they've all been on the receiving end of those claws. She used to have to chase them but now all she has to do is stand on the top step, puff up into that hallow'een cat thing and it freaks them out. Totally.
    But she may not scare the birds. And we both know that scaring birds is the least of her bad intentions. She wants to eat them. And that is why she is incarcerated for the next week. Not easy for a fietsy little she-cat.
Until next time.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Show Me a Sign

Cindy my friend from Raleigh came to visit. She zoomed in for the night and zoomed out the next day. While she was here she was practicing her psychic skills (Calls herself Psychic Two) but we spent most of the night laughing. As we usually do. She's been the light at the end of  a few very dark tunnels for me these last few years and during a time when I could barely smile, she could make me laugh out loud.
During this dark time in my life I was looking for signs from Drew - signs to show that he could hear me, that could see me. I desperately wanted to know that he was there - somewhere. And the signs were coming in from the ethers fast and furiously.
Cindy got miffed. "Where are my signs?" she demanded. So I explained that she had to ask for them. "Like what? What do I ask for?" 
Signs! I said. You know, a blue bird feather, a rainbow, a yellow rose in winter - don't make it too easy. "Anyone can produce flowers and rainbows," she snorted. "I want him to show me Zebras." She laughed her head off at her wit and the idea that she was going to outwit that canny world of spirit, and zoomed off down the road to Raleigh. I thought that the road to Raleigh was an unlikely place to find Zebras - but you never know.
And then she called me. "You are not going to believe this, Psychic One."
Try me, I said.
"There, right in front of my e4yes, was this giant U-Haul truck - its sides covered in painted Zebras!"
You just never know :)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Angels?

     Do you believe in Angels? Every major religion does in one way or another. Angels who annouce events, angels who warn of danger, angels who jump into harms way to save you from certain anihilation... Those sort of angels. Well, I've read all the same stories you have but I've never seen one. At least not that I know of.  But I do have a story of my own that I wonder about.
      It's about a fall I took when my oldest son was an infant.
     Walt, my late husband was finishing up at the University of Arkansas, and I had spent the morning cleaning the apartment while my newborn slept and Karen our three year old, went over to the neighbors to play.
     The tile floors were the last places to be cleaned and I finished up with a flourish of suds and disinfectant that the smears of jam and the black heel skids and stuck on batter (from a batch of cookies) couldn't survive. And as if on cue, as I stashed the mop and emptied the bucket, my baby began to wail from the bedroom. Lunch time.
     We went through the cooing and gurgling and changing wet diaper routine and when he was patted and  powdered and totally rehabiltated I carried him into the kitchen to get whatever it was I had to get to get the feeding going.
     And stepped onto a slippery kitchen tile. My legs went out from under me and with my baby held in one arm, I flailed and hit the floor - resoundingly - with the tip of the elbow that was supporting his head. I lay there petrified. I felt no pain. Anywhere. My elbow should have been shattered. I turned my face and Michael blinked at me and began to wave his fists. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him. His head should have been badly shaken up at the very least. No sign of that.
     I climber gingerly to my feet waiting for all hell to break loose from broken arms and hips - nothing. Not even a twitch of pain.
     When I was on my feet I lay the baby on the couch and took stock of him and then of myself. He was perfect. And where there should have been a mushed elbow, blood, bruising and broken bones, there was nothing. Not even any reddening.
     For years following that incident I wracked my brains and couldn't for the life of me remember hitting the floor. I do remember falling and landing. It was a soft landing and I never felt my elbow hit the tile.
    Did I hit my head and black out? There was no mark on my head anywhere. No blood, no bump no headache. No crossed-eyes! Was I caught by an angel? I have no idea.
     If you have any similar stories, please let me hear from you. I'd love to include them on a website I'm thinking about putting together.
     Take care - walk with angels.
   
        

Friday, July 8, 2011

Person of Interest

I was watching the Blue Bird house yesterday from my kitchen window. And as I watched, I saw the mother bird making passes at the house, carrying a worm in her beak. I thought, that's strange - why doesn't she stop and feed them? (I peaked, and there are five of them!)

Fearing the worst, I went out to make sure there wasn't a snake trying to climb up to the nest. Something was going on to cause her to shy away everytime she flew over. I do not like snakes. So I armed myself with a rake and a machete and headed up the walkway. Creeping on tiptoe, I approached without making a sound. If it was a snake I was ready to turn tail and run. I knew that. But at least if I took one swipe it might scare it away. What if it wrapped itself around the rake handle ... these are the things nightmares are made of. I'd probably die.

I was almost there. I approached with extreme caution, scanning the flower bed for the predator. The baby birds were squawking and carrying on, drowning out all other sound. No snake.

But there, camped out on a flattened daylily, under a patch of daisies with a spider web hanging off her ear, was Miss Kitty. No wonder the birds were freaking out. She looks like a miniature lion. She made that soft little chatter-mew that her breed the Maine Coons, are famous for as I stood there with my hands on my hips glaring at her, sending her some very sharp vibrations, making her blink. And then I scooped her up.

"You may not have a blue bird, Missy! Absolutely NOT!" A grunt and a swish of her tail followed by deep, half-growl-half  "put me down," whine as I took her into the house and proceeded to sit her down for a chat.

I think I told you, she's half-wild, so all her cat instincts are in tact. This kitty just showed up one day about seven years ago and took up residence in our house and I love her to death and she loves her cat-cookies. But Blue birds are NOT on the menu.

 

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Summertime

I'm loving this summer.
I don't know what's going on with the weather but it almost reminds me of the tropics. It seems to rain every afternoon for about an hour and sometimes during the night and then the next morning it's brilliantly clear and sunny. The flowere are thriving along the pathway and the lake is full.
What a beautiful planet we live on.
Sometimes while I'm soaking in its beauty, swimming in the lake, loving the temps in the '80's and walking on fresh green grass, a cloud crosses the sun and darkens the world momentarily. I think of how much Drew is missing. He'll never walk in the grass with me again. He'll never wake up to one of these gorgeous summer days, ready to spring onto his jet ski and dart accross the lake to meet his friends, grab a wakeboard or hike up into the mountains. The feeling's almost overwhelming.
But then I remember a dream his brother told me about. "We were all at the lake - you, me, Dad and Drew. The lake was glistening, blue and clearer and more beautiful than it's ever been. Dad was riding a BMW lawn mower! Do they mke those?? When suddenly, Drew came tearing across a bridge on the biggest, shiniest motor cycle you've ever seen. And drove it right off the bridge and into the lake!. The weird thing was, No one got excited! No one was upset. Nobody yelled! Everyone was calm, as just as suddenly, Drew was standing on the bridge with his cycle dripping wet, a big goofy grin on his face saying, "Look - not a scratch!" And he was right.
The thing that struck me the most was the peace. The place was beautiful, there was love all around us." 
So Drew is here. He can see us and hear us. And wherever he is, it seems to be just like his home on earth. Only much, much more beautiful, peaceful and fun. Such toys! And it's full of love. I love that.

There are Blue birds nesting outside the kitchen window. They too are full of love for those tiny demanding creatures in their nest.

And the sun is shining again.

I'll be writing more from now on. I've been busy meeting deadlines for the book. So exciting!