Hi Mom!

That's the way my son Drew answered the phone whenever I called him or he called me. 'Hi Mom!' Or, when he was being sassy, it was, 'Hello darling!'  (A clear imitation of me.) In fact, all three of them do that. Karen might answer, 'Hello Mumsie.' and Michael will  pipe up with the 'Hello Darling,' theme. And now his son, my grandson, does it too. This seems to have evolved into a family affair.

Obviously there was something wrong with my parenting. Perhaps I should have lowered the boom on the 'respect' issue. Perhaps I should have demanded that the person who gave birth to each of them (in agony, of course) be addressed in fitting fashion with something like, 'Good Morning, Mother dear!' Or maybe not. At least not until after my first cup of coffee.

What's done is done, I've decided and I'm not going to wring my hands about any of it, because, it seems to me that in spite of all the mistakes I made, in spite of all the things I could've should've done better, they all still seem to love me. And I wouldn't change that for all the stars above.

So, let me ask you, were you a perfect mother? Of course you were - at times. So was I. Did we crash and burn sometimes making executive proclamations that were way off the mark, and definitely not in accordance with any of the 'how to' manuals we kept on our coffee tables? Did we say irrational things that were guaranteed to stunt even the most compliant child? Of course we did. Are we human beings? Of course we are.

And what's more, in spite of all the handicaps that come with the human condition, we mostly did a bang up job! Did you ever feel sad all morning having packed your 10 year old off to school after a fight over what she should be wearing? Probably. And did you show up at school at lunchtime with a treat to make up for one of those faulty proclamations? Probably. And did she screw up her face and say, 'What's that?' Because she's already forgotten the morning row.

Kids are like that. They are so much better than we are; they forgive and forget easily, and that's a very good thing. After all - childbirth is often a surprise, and always comes without a comprehensive book of instruction.

How could it? Just when you think you've got this parenting thing down pat, another baby come along, and guess what? He or she is absolutely nothing like the other one, two or three you've raised reasonably successfully. This one is a whole new ball game. It doesn't matter that it has the same set of parents with their sometimes good, sometimes quirky ideas, it comes with a mind and personality all it's own, and we rack our brains trying to figure out how that could have happened, staring at it as if it was a new species or something. It's not a new species, it just has a thriving free will. How great is that? That something this small could end up ruling the roost unless you make a few of those unguided proclamations.

And then there comes an evening when you're watching this same tyke perform in his first school Christmas Pageant. He's the fluffy sheep standing beside the manger scratching his head, and your heart fills with pride. He's not so bad - your face breaks into a grin. In fact he's doing so well he may be Hollywood bound. . .

Then comes graduation - it doesn't matter which one - you can hardly contain yourself as you watch your little girl, all grown up, walk across the stage and receive her diploma. Her eyes sparkle, full of excitement, as she reaches up to hold her cap steady and wave to you. Her dad's mopping his eyes, and you share the look that says, 'We did it right.'

Time goes so fast. It won't be long before it's your turn to mop your eyes as you watch your grown up son lead his new bride onto the dance floor for the first waltz of their new life together. You think about the small things that tumbled through the years; his first scraped knee, his first day at school when you held hands up until the very last minute before you had to turn him over to a brand new experience, his first touchdown on the football field  - his first broken heart.

And as the memories play out across your mind, you feel a hand on your arm and his voice at your side saying, "Hello darling! Shall we dance?"

You smile at his father. That same smile that says, 'We did okay, didn't we.'  

And that tyke when he grew up? Well, Drew won his company's highest accolade. Their 5 Star Employee of the Year. We did okay.

Yes, you did. We all did okay. We took on the hardest job of all, and by George, we did it!

To all the moms I know, 'Well Done!' Happy Mother's Day - You're the best!

Make a Wish

Hi, Everyone,

Have you ever wished you were someone else? Ever wished you had a better personality or a more appealing demeanor? Or wished you were somewhere else? Wished for better legs, a better nose or better hair? Or a bigger house, a smaller house, a huge car?

It's a fact that most of us, at one time or another, have wished for a lot of those things - plus 10,000 more seemingly unattainable acquisitions. And it's also true that most of us can't seem to find the handle that will open that door to allow them in - to shower us with joy, happiness and unspeakable superiority.

How about Good health? Happiness. Surely that's not too much to wish for  . . .

And have you felt the frustration that comes when you wonder if all of those wishes you've floated out into the Universal stream of consciousness, appear to have gotten lost, drowned in some sea of other people's wishes, or just plain disappeared?

Me too. Wherever they are, there doesn't seem to be any Great Wish Wizard floating around out there waiting to pounce on mine, wave a wand and bring forth a golden carriage full of realized wishes. Not happening.

So, you'll hear: Why don't you pray more? Find a sugar daddy or a rich widow. Meditate, stupid! Well, prayers may work for other people, you think, the sugar daddy's are probably deaf, the rich widows have other ideas, and meditation - really?

The only thing I've found that really works is the wish for Peace.

Wishing for Peace means sitting beside the ocean, a flower bed, or walking through a meadow. When you're comfortable, take all those wishes out of their sack and re-introduce yourself to them as if meeting them all for the first time. Then, after a meaningful conversation with each of them, you might begin to decide  how many of them you really want to keep as friends.

I mean, do you really want to be "someone else"? What if you got that wish and suddenly realized that you had inherited not only the things you envy about that person's personality - but a number of things you'd never thought of, as well. Things that really irritate you. Helloooo. Ditto with that "somewhere else" wish.

Legs, noses and hair can all be fixed, so get busy fixing, once you decide that's what you really want.  Bigger cars, bigger houses too. Or you might decide that these wishes really aren't the "friends" you thought they were. (Who knew that new hair cut would make you look like a pink toilet brush? ) And now you know the reason they call Big Cars gas guzzlers ...

Health is a biggie. You work with it or without it any way you can. Good health is always a good friend to be with. And you know that good friends can almost always be better friends when met with good attitudes. Acceptance is a friend that is sometimes hard to accept, but worth the effort. And what friend can resist the feeling of being accepted?

On the bright side, there are ways, I've found, that can make sure that a lot of wishes do come true. Tomorrow morning, before my eyes are even open, I will float the affirmation, (not simply the 'wish') to be a better person than I was yesterday.

And if that works, that's good, but tonight before I fall asleep, I may get more specific about the things that didn't work so well. I will repeat the word "Patience" over and over and over again until my subconscious gets it!
I might add to that, "Tolerance", Yeah. That's a good one. I might also look into "choosing my words with care." And just as my sub-conscious is close to over-load and breaking point, I'll fall asleep. The next morning, when all consciousness is rested, I will ask to be a better person, with all these attributes inserted. Then, I will offer it all up to God, if you wish, and Universe to deal with. And it will be done.

The next night, right before I go to sleep, I'll do it all over again. Maybe I'll add to it. It never hurts to throw in a little wealth and true love.

I know that none of you were born yesterday, and that you may already be practicing all this. So, how's it working for you? (Asks Dr. Phil.) I also know that you've probably added all the things you, specifically, want to attain or become: Attitudes and attributes that will make you a better person than you were yesterday. And if you have been practicing all this, you know by now that you are becoming that person you want to be. It may at first be imperceptible, but it's happening every day.

You can't miss. Your skin begins to glow, your smile is brighter, and you know how that affects people - they smile back. That makes you happy. It makes you want to reach out and touch others. And that makes them happy. It especially makes the people you love happy - and the really great part about it is that it's contagious.

Hold on to that, my friends, inhale that feeling and nurture it. What a happy place :) And guess what? You've changed, you're still you, not someone else, but the essential you that you wanted to be.

One big wish came true. And in the wake of that new you - who knows what else can happen. Expect miracles. Build them, affirm them and they will come.

Take care and have a beautiful day!